I have this small... tiny… minute… seemingly insignificant issue with sitting beside boys in public transports.

No no, not all boys of course.

Hot hunky chunky cute boys?
Okay no problem.

Prim and preppy boys?
Okay no problem.

Game nerds?
Okay no problem.

Hormonal-raging teen boys in UNIFORM?
Err, uncle can I get down now?

In case you don’t know me well enough, I’m incredibly sensitive to smell. I’m not saying girls don’t perspire but I don’t know why it seems as if EVERY SINGLE teenage boy (IN UNIFORM) whom sits beside me ALWAYS ALWAYS reek of stale sweat and greasy food.

Very gross you know?

I never face this problem when I sit beside school girls! Does this means girls are generally cleaner than boys? I happen to think so in fact. Look at Bernie! He can NOT shower and plop to bed but I can never ever for the LIFE OF ME do that. It’s repulsive to not bathe before sleeping because my body feels so sticky and uncomfortable.

And he doesn’t brush his teeth or wash his face either. Alamak  Anyway, back to the topic.

Two days back I met another boy with the same smell-issue. When he first boarded the bus I was doing a silent prayer for him to not sit beside me but it seems like God had put me through his answering machine because before I could say "Amen", I smelt him.

Oh yes. THAT smell. That familiar sweat and uniform stale smell that fills your nostrils, your lungs then deludes you into taking out your 5-year-old Impulse body spray and attack him with it. As in whack his head with it, not perfume him.

I remember during my secondary school days, we always get so paranoid about smelling bad that in our bag we’d stash some form of deodorant or body spray just in case. And Angie told me I never fail to smell like Body Shop because I’d like, OD on it . If only boys would have this sense of urgency to smell good.

But then again it would be weird wouldn’t it? Imagine:

Boy A: Ohhmaiigawwd. Do I stink or do I just stink so-bad.

Boy B: Ugh, it’s the weather I swear. Killer. Here, I have deodorant with me. Take a pick! Ocean Spray or Fantasy Forest.

Boy A: Hmmmm, tough one.

Boy B: If it matters, I think you should pick Ocean Spray. It’s like, TOTALLY YOU I swear.

Boy A: Really? I mean I’ve always seem myself as a Fantasy kindda guy

Boy B: You kidding me right? I mean like, you’re this burst of water that totally wets me in and out!

Boy A and Boy B then proceeds to squeal in cohesion.

Hmm. Disturbing…